


“The Pirate’s Booty”, by V. Tethras and Captain Isabela

by janiejanine



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Friend Fiction, Gen, Writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 10:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12957210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janiejanine/pseuds/janiejanine
Summary: Varric and Isabela collaborate, sort of.





	“The Pirate’s Booty”, by V. Tethras and Captain Isabela

_“Any last requests, pig?”_

_The dread pirate Madalena prodded the thief’s prone body with the toe of her boot. He glared up at her with his one good eye and spat, wincing when the glob of phlegm landed on his face._

_He was lucky he was handsome, Madalena thought. While he certainly didn’t_   _have much to offer in the way of intellect, it would be a bit of a waste to dispose of someone so decorative. Perhaps she could devise an alternative punishment._

_“Last chance,” she said, planting her foot firmly on his chest._

_His gaze traveled upwards, then down again. “I can think of one thing,” he said._

“And then he hoisted her mainsail until the sun came up. Be sure you put that in.” Isabela’s voice rang in Varric’s ear.

“I will if you stop hanging over my shoulder,” he said.

“Fine.” She shifted away, only to reappear at his other side. “Not  _literally_  hoisted.”

“Yeah, I got that.”

“They had sex.”

Varric set his pen down with a sharp  _clack_. “Do  _you_  want to write this?”

“I did, but you said no.”

“Because you leave out all the buildup. There has to be a plot. You head straight for the smut. Anyway, this is supposed to be about the Guard-Captain, not the pirate.”

“If I only wrote about  _her_  dirty bits, this book would be a pamphlet,” Isabela said, wrinkling her nose.

“You’d be surprised,” Varric murmured.

Isabela sat up like a hound scenting a trail. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Varric,” she crooned, leaning over the table. “What do you know?” She batted her eyelashes, a thing Varric hadn’t realized anyone actually did until he met her.

He shook his head. He was familiar with this routine, and it didn’t work on him. Much.

“You want me to tell you about Aveline’s love life?” he said. “No, thanks. I like my head where it is. You’re going to have to ask her yourself.”

Isabela’s seductive veneer dropped like a shed cloak. “It was worth a try.”

Her fingers tapped on the tabletop, their tense rhythm and the twitch of her jaw indicating some great inner struggle. Finally, she shoved her chair back.

“Since  _someone_  insists on keeping secrets,  _I_  am going to investigate,” she said, and exited the room with an impressive flounce.

Varric picked up his pen and savored the silence. Peace always came at a price, and he’d pay it when Aveline caught him, but in the meantime, it was all his.


End file.
